By Rhonda Victoor

It’s fully expected. The classic opening question when I bump into an acquaintance at a networking function is, “What’s new?”

It’s fully expected, yet we’re stumped. In fact, most of us crash and burn with one of these knee-jerk responses:

1. I’m soooooo busy!

Sure, we’re all busy. And to prove it, the person you’re networking with will one-up you: “You think you’re busy. Listen to how my day started…” Once you’re sucked into a game of busy-one-upmanship, there is no escape. You will not share anything of interest. You will not connect. You will eventually trail off feeling exhausted by all the busy-talk.

You likely are busy. But don’t open with that. It screams, “Please don’t refer me any work: I can’t handle what I have.  And I don’t really love my job; I’m just swimming in chaos.” 

Instead, share what’s fun. Or share what’s challenging. Your conversations don’t need to be rosy to make a connection, but they need to have substance.

2. Mmm…not much is new.

I don’t buy it. You can’t be that boring.

Really. I know there is something of interest that you can share in the networking arena. You don’t need to regale them with a wild adventure, but throw them a bone. That what’s-new-question might be the only question they have for you. Dismiss it and the conversation’s over.

So, what is actually new with you?

As I drive to a networking event, I prepare by answering this in the form of a little story. People relate to stories. They remember stories. And they create comfortable spin-off conversation. 

Your “what’s new?” answer should relate to your goal. Why are you networking?

• To find clients or associates: share a personal story about a client you helped or a great project you are working on. These stories express what we love about our work without sounding ‘salesy’.
• Make friends: share something you’re looking forward to, a funny story from home, or something quirky that just unfolded with your hobby.
• Because my boss told me to: Hmmm…won’t cut it. Pick one of the above.

Don’t try to be a stand-up comic: you’re not on stage. But do tell your story with enthusiasm. If you have interest, it will attract the same energy.

So pause for the next 30 seconds and come up with an answer to “What’s new?”  You know someone’s going to ask – be ready!

Now stop schmoozing and start connecting!

Rhonda Victoor is an expert in the rituals of high performance. She coaches leaders and front line employees on these rituals and practices them herself. In fact, with these rituals she became the World Effective Speaking Champion after winning competitions in Ecuador (while pregnant) and Japan (two weeks after giving birth to her first child). You should also know she’s a rookie hip hop dancer and die-hard Yoda fan. Watch her in action at www.RhondaVictoor.com.