Facebook or Face Time? Business Relationships Take More Than Texting, Friending, and Online “Connecting”

0
(0)

It’s official: email, texting, and social media are no longer just helpful supplemental business tools. They’ve taken over the whole game. Yes, technology has made many aspects of modern living more convenient and “connected,” but the pendulum has swung too far. Now, people are reluctant to do something as simple as picking up the phone, preferring to shoot off an email instead. And face-to-face meetings—well, they’re almost unheard of.

This “technology takeover” is not without consequence, according to Michael Houlihan. Misunderstandings abound. Relationships stagnate. Trust is at an all-time low. And all of these issues are at least partially due to the fact that genuine human connections have been replaced by mouse-clicks and keystrokes.

“Social media and technology do have their place, but they are not, and never will be, a substitute for in-person interaction,” confirms Houlihan, coauthor along with Bonnie Harvey of The Barefoot Spirit: How Hardship, Hustle, and Heart Built America’s #1 Wine Brand.

Having bootstrapped a business from the ground up, Houlihan knows what he’s talking about. He and Harvey are the founders of Barefoot Cellars which they started in the laundry room of a rented Sonoma County farmhouse.

“I can’t tell you how many retailers, suppliers, and potential customers I visited in person during those early years,” Houlihan said. “What I can tell you is that I would have never gotten satisfactory results if I had tried to build those relationships via email and social media.”

Houlihan worries that young people’s dependence on virtual communication has stunted the social skills they’ll need in the workplace. Through no fault of their own, they have inherited a world that provides a comfortable firewall insulating them from personal rejection—one in which they simply don’t have to communicate in real time.

Of course, in a global economy, face-to-face meetings are expensive. When clients, vendors, and even employees are on the other side of the world, it’s not economically feasible to hop on a plane every time a meeting is needed. In these cases, says Houlihan, Skype is the next best thing to being there.

“Live video streams allow you to do just about everything short of shaking hands,” he notes. “I love that I can make eye contact with someone who is sitting on the opposite side of the country. We accomplish so much more when we become more than ‘just’ an email address or a disembodied voice to one another.”

If you make the time necessary for personal meetings—if not in person, then via Skype or, at the very least, on the phone—Houlihan says others will not only remember you, but they will appreciate the effort you put forth. Read on for six advantages of real-time, in-person, face-to-face relationship building:

The time investment shows you really care.
It’s a fairly universal truth that human beings want to be valued and appreciated. Spending time with someone else, whether that’s in person, face-to-face on a computer screen, or, if all else fails, via a phone call, is one of the best ways to convey these things. In essence, an investment of time says, “While there are many other things I could be doing, I’m choosing to spend my time with you. That’s how important I think you are!” Minutes and hours spent with another person have the power to create a bond that money can’t buy.

You’re better able to give personalized attention.
According to Houlihan, this is perhaps the biggest key to successful sales and the establishment of any long-term relationship. Think about it: It’s hard to multi-task on something unrelated when someone is physically planted in front of you, demanding your attention. Unless you have no problem with blatant rudeness, you’re focusing on the other person, responding not only to what they say, but also to their mood, movements, and many other non-verbal signals.

You’re more effective.
When you’re talking to someone else in real time, you can make progress in real time and solve problems in real time. (Believe it or not, lobbing emails back and forth isn’t always the most efficient method!) Thanks to facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice (see below for more information on each), you’ll usually find out more than just the basics when you have a verbal conversation. In fact, if you’re really observant, you may notice things about the other company or clients that they themselves aren’t even aware of.

Facial expressions help get your message across…
Did you know that the human face has at least 20 muscles that work in concert to create a myriad of facial expressions? When you put it that way, the process sounds complex, but amazingly (as you know!) we don’t have to consciously think about forming those expressions at all. This is a powerful argument for face-to-face meetings, whether they’re in person or via Skype.

“Observing those expressions during verbal communication can give you instant feedback about how your message is being received,” Houlihan points out. “You can quickly adjust your message on the spot to make it more meaningful or agreeable, and avoid possible misunderstandings. Facial expressions are also an invaluable way through which to express sincerity, interest, curiosity, happiness, and more.”

…So does your body language…
Unlike looking at a posed profile shot or any still image sent over email, being face-to-face with another person gives you the opportunity to see the other person’s dynamic reaction and make adjustments to your own message. Real-time body language provides tons of non-verbal cues that are impossible to convey in a text or email.

“As humans and social animals, we are naturally wired to get this feedback instantly,” Houlihan says. “We’re also equipped to share our own feelings and attitudes through the way we stand, sit, gesture, and more.”

…and so does your tonality.
It’s happened to everyone: You send an email that’s laced with sarcasm or humor…which the recipient totally fails to pick up on. Oops! Now you’re left frantically doing damage control. According to Houlihan, that’s one major reason why texting, emailing, and friending can be great ways to communicate while failing to succeed at relationship building.

“When spoken, the same words used in a text or email can have a very different meaning based on the tone, inflection, and the emphasis that the speaker gives,” he says. “It’s much easier to ‘get’ intentions behind the spoken word. And if the other person sounds reluctant, uncomfortable, or guarded, for instance, you can take advantage of the opportunity to ask why and discuss ideas that might never have been brought forward over email. So the next time you find your mouse hovering over the ‘compose’ button, think about reaching for your phone instead.”

Michael Houlihan and Bonnie Harvey, authors of The Barefoot Spirit: How Hardship, Hustle, and Heart Built America’s #1 Wine Brand, started the Barefoot Wine brand in their laundry room in 1986, made it a nationwide bestseller, and successfully sold the brand to E&J Gallo in 2005. Starting with virtually no money and no wine industry experience, they employed innovative ideas to overcome obstacles and create new markets.

How useful was this post?

Click on a star to rate it!

Average rating 0 / 5. Vote count: 0

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

Category

HR Law

Subscribe

Enter your email address to receive updates each Wednesday.

Privacy guaranteed. We'll never share your info.