By Adam Bajan

There’s an age old question in human relationships—how much do we reveal or hold back about ourselves?

In Trust We Trust
Creating trust in our relationships requires that we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, but at what point in a relationship do we take the plunge? Individuals who work in HR are in the business of relationships; it’s your raison d’etre, your modus operandi.

If you have been an HR professional for a while, chances are that co-workers and employees have already come to you with issues, and trusted you with highly personal information. When this happens, you’re faced with a choice: do you reveal something of yourself in return? Moreover, if you choose to open up, can you run the risk of opening up too much?

Amber Cooper, HR professional and faculty member in the human resources department at Ashton College says that the decision is a tricky one. “You take on that risk and walk a line. Often times HR, or even other managers, take on that risk to make themselves more relatable or to develop that relationship.”

Dangers of HR Over-Sharing
However, over-sharing of personal information as an HR professional can be detrimental or even damaging. This is because there is a power differential between employees and HR—and it exists for a reason.

HR is a leadership and negotiation role requiring objectivity. When disputes occur—and they inevitably will—HR needs to be impartial, and they can’t do this if they’re on completely equal footing with other employees; in many cases, HR has more in common with upper management.

“As an HR professional you need to try to take the emotion out of decisions in the workplace and evaluate disputes with an objective eye and look at the facts and then re-evaluate that assessment to determine if your decision is reasonable, compassionate and above all, the right thing to do,” says Cooper. “This goes both for the business and the individual.”

This need to be fair, honest, and objective often translates into a delicate balancing act between making difficult decisions and maintaining relationships when dealing with disputes. It’s easy to simply point to a policy as a benchmark and base your decision squarely on that policy, but a good a HR manager will go beyond that.

“If you approach decision-making with critical thinking versus simply applying a policy or procedure, you can generally find a balance” says Cooper. “I really believe that there is a way to be friendly and build a relationship without sharing a lot of information about your personal life.”

Adam Bajan is a digital brand experience assistant at Ashton College, a post-secondary college in Vancouver. Founded in 1998, Ashton College has become a national and international force in the field of higher education. Ashton’s Diploma in Human Resources Management program prepares students for the National Knowledge Exam and to become a candidate for the CHRP.